My line of work requires me to provide "world class customer service" and this usually involves me smiling a little too much and projecting my voice in an annoyingly high pitch, jolly way (I don't know how else to do it). It also involves me making eye contact with my customers... and I mean... like really make eye contact, really hard eye contact. I've learned to deal with that awkwardness on my end. I mean, have you ever really made eye contact with complete strangers longer than 2 seconds? Its weird! But I do it! Because apparently it makes customers feel special! So I've learned to ignore the internal awkwardness of being overly nice and polite to a complete stranger, but I have yet to deal with the awkwardness that comes when they mistake my politeness for
flirtation. I mean, can a girl just be genuinely nice (because your work forces you to be) without it translating into
I wanna bang you?
Here are some tips for you boys on how to avoid making yourself look like an Awkward Creeper:
1. When you are asking my co-workers where I am, and then suddenly spot me, do not say "Oh there's my girlfriend!" and walk over to me.
2. Do not do number 1 especially if you are a married man.
3. If you are a married man, do not ask me if I have a boyfriend. Ok, its fine to ask that question
I guess. You're just trying to get to know me. Valid question,
kinda. But don't poke and prod as to why I don't have a ring yet.
4. The next time you come and see me, don't say "Still no ring yet huh?!" It might not be creepy, but damn, its awkward (and YOU'RE MARRIED!).
5. If I tell you we share the same birthday, do not respond with "Oh really?? I like your body. You have a boyfriend?"
Extra Tip: A more appropriate response would be "Oh really?! People born on April 24 are REALLY awesome!" or "Us Taurus' sure are stubborn huh? Mwauaha"
6. When you ask me out to a lunch date- out of no where- and I politely decline because I inform you my boyfriend probably wouldn't be comfortable with it, do not try and make it out like
I am the asshole
here.
"Oh, it was just for business!" And maybe I am an asshole for automatically thinking that your politeness was flirtation, but seriously, who says "I'd really like to take you to lunch sometime when you're free" and expect someone to be naive enough to think it's just for business? You've just made things awkward, and you're an asshole.
Extra Tip: If its truly for business, preface that question with something like... "Oh hey, I have a business proposition for you and I'd like to discuss it over lunch sometime. Whatyasay?!" That way I can follow it with "What kind of business?" and you can answer that with something really professional and not at all sketchy.
7. Do not ask me to be in your music video and follow it with "I wouldn't be able to pay you though".
8. Please do not put your hand on my hand. Boundaries people! We can professionally shake hands, but please do. not. put. your. hand. on. top. of. my. hand. and leave it there. Thx.
9. Do not randomly insert "Hey my son is single!" in our conversation and then pause. Things like that catch me off guard and I have no other way of answering that other than with a sincere "Oh I have a boyfriend.." and doing one of these :-/ faces with a shoulder shrug. It's not awkward at this point, but it gets there when you follow my :-/ with an "Oh I was just sayin :-o" Again...trying to make me be the asshole here! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY TO THAT???
"Sorry....That sucks. :-( " ????!
10. If my sparkly accent nail catches your eye, please do not take it upon yourself to rub that nail to feel what the texture is like. Again, BOUNDARIES PEOPLE! I don't even know you! SMH.
11. "I hear Asian women are really obedient" is NOT a compliment and is completely inappropriate to say to
anyone. You are now an Awkward Racist (and I have plenty of tips and examples of how to not be an Awkward Racist...but that is a whole other post...)
I get that there are guys that just want to genuinely get to know a girl. There is probably an initial attraction there. Do not argue with me and tell me "Damn, I just want to get to know the girl as FRIENDS! Not get in her pants!" Please. Why else would you want to get to know a girl if you didn't want or see the opportunity to be more than just friends? IT'S COMPLETELY FINE. But there's a time and a place and a non-creepy method for that stuff. And if you get the timing, place, and method right, don't turn the girl into an asshole when she is up front with you about not being interested, whatever reason that may be.
Don't be an Awkward Creeper.
Thanks :)